…here is a meme I nicked from Golfwidow.
Five Things I Just Don’t Get:
- Not recycling – seriously? You think there’s a good reason NOT to recycle? Seriously?!
- Paying $150 for a pair of jeans – seriously? You think that’s a wise way to spend your money? Seriously?!
- Stupidity – and by this, I mean grown adults who lack the math, spelling, grammar, etc. skills that their age level would suggest they ought to possess. Look, just because you are no longer in high school doesn’t mean you need to be a dumbass. Do the human race a favor – don’t breed. The future will appreciate your selfless act of social Darwinism.
- Rachael Ray – there was a time I thought she was semi-interesting (back when she had one show and one show only – $40-a-Day). Now she’s the most irritating scene-chewer to ever curse this planet and I honestly do not get why people like her. At all. And if you start getting all “Yum-O!”, “Sammies” or “E-V-O-O” up in my grill, I will cunt-punch you. Raping the English language only proves your (and her) ignorance.
- Gay Marriage Ban – WTF? No. Really. WTF?
Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of:
- Hair (on my head only, thank you)
- Time
- Sleep
- Maple walnut caramels from Mendocino Chocolate Company
- Open-minded acquaintances
Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases:
- “I could care less.” – please don’t make me stab you
- “Diva/Divas” – I would rather be called “bitch”
- “Irregardless” – stabby stab stab!
- “Global warming” – a misnomer AND a misunderstood/misrepresented concept. Thanks, Gore
- “Ain’t” – you ignorant assholes, it’s your fault Webster now recognizes this as a real word. Thank you for dumbing down society even more.
Five Famous People I’ve Spoken With in Person:
- Julee Cruise
- Huey Lewis
- Russ Tamblyn
- Marina Sirtis
- Jon Crosby
Five Things I Do Nearly Daily That I Don’t Enjoy:
- Commute
- Deal with people on teh intarweb
- Make my bed
- Drink wayyyyy too much crap coffee at work
- Procrastinate
Five Things I Wish I Had The Chance To Do More Often:
- Go on road trips
- Hang out with Jenny
- Sleep in
- Work on my writing
- Get absolutely hammered and dance like a maniac in a sweaty, packed nightclub (Yeah, I know. I don’t know where this comes from either)
Five Things I Have Actually Done that Sound Like Lies:
- Been accepted to UC Berkeley
- Made an ass of myself in a radio station contest
- Smuggled illicit substances through airport security in Ft. Lauderdale
- Lived an incredibly boring life compared to almost all of my friends
- Done coke. Not once. Not twice. Multiple times over the course of my adult life (before you freak, I’m not an addict; I just know when to accept that which is offered to me)
Five People I Hope Will Fill This Out:
- Yo momma
- My momma
- John Denver
- Alice Hoffman
- Coworker Sean