…here is a meme I nicked from Golfwidow.

Five Things I Just Don’t Get:

1. Not recycling – seriously? You think there’s a good reason NOT to recycle? Seriously?!
2. Paying $150 for a pair of jeans – seriously? You think that’s a wise way to spend your money? Seriously?!
3. Stupidity – and by this, I mean grown adults who lack the math, spelling, grammar, etc. skills that their age level would suggest they ought to possess. Look, just because you are no longer in high school doesn’t mean you need to be a dumbass. Do the human race a favor – don’t breed. The future will appreciate your selfless act of social Darwinism.
4. Rachael Ray – there was a time I thought she was semi-interesting (back when she had one show and one show only – $40-a-Day). Now she’s the most irritating scene-chewer to ever curse this planet and I honestly do not get why people like her. At all. And if you start getting all “Yum-O!”, “Sammies” or “E-V-O-O” up in my grill, I will cunt-punch you. Raping the English language only proves your (and her) ignorance.
5. Gay Marriage Ban – WTF? No. Really. WTF?

Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of:

1. Hair (on my head only, thank you)
2. Time
3. Sleep
4. Maple walnut caramels from Mendocino Chocolate Company
5. Open-minded acquaintances

Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases:

1. “I could care less.” – please don’t make me stab you
2. “Diva/Divas” – I would rather be called “bitch”
3. “Irregardless” – stabby stab stab!
4. “Global warming” – a misnomer AND a misunderstood/misrepresented concept. Thanks, Gore
5. “Ain’t” – you ignorant assholes, it’s your fault Webster now recognizes this as a real word. Thank you for dumbing down society even more.

Five Famous People I’ve Spoken With in Person:

1. Julee Cruise
2. Huey Lewis
3. Russ Tamblyn
4. Marina Sirtis
5. Jon Crosby

Five Things I Do Nearly Daily That I Don’t Enjoy:

1. Commute
2. Deal with people on teh intarweb
3. Make my bed
4. Drink wayyyyy too much crap coffee at work
5. Procrastinate

Five Things I Wish I Had The Chance To Do More Often:

1. Go on road trips
2. Hang out with Jenny
3. Sleep in
4. Work on my writing
5. Get absolutely hammered and dance like a maniac in a sweaty, packed nightclub (Yeah, I know. I don’t know where this comes from either)

Five Things I Have Actually Done that Sound Like Lies:

1. Been accepted to UC Berkeley
2. Made an ass of myself in a radio station contest
3. Smuggled illicit substances through airport security in Ft. Lauderdale
4. Lived an incredibly boring life compared to almost all of my friends
5. Done coke. Not once. Not twice. Multiple times over the course of my adult life (before you freak, I’m not an addict; I just know when to accept that which is offered to me)

Five People I Hope Will Fill This Out:

1. Yo momma
2. My momma
3. John Denver
4. Alice Hoffman
5. Coworker Sean

I realize I haven’t been around. I chalk it up to being incredibly busy and also not feeling like saying a whole lot. There are a good many things I’ve written in several of my Moleskines that I’d hoped to translate to this site, but as of yet it hasn’t happened. Oh well. I’ll get back into it this week since things are slowing down in the post-fiscal-year-close slide towards Christmas.

At any rate, I wanted to do something that didn’t require me to really put a lot of rational thought into it. So I snagged this fun meme (because you know me and memes/surveys/forms of any sort…it’s a compulsion…) from the awesome Golfwidow (mad props!).

Feel free to steal it and fill it out on your own sites. I’m not a known tagger, so I won’t corner any of y’all. But dude…it’s fun! Do it. For your inner child.

What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Masturbated with the lights on. Ah! I kid. Sort of. Anyway, um. Saw VAST in concert.
Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t make any this past year because I never keep them. Rather, I just kind of promised myself that I’d look for ways to better my life. So far nothing’s panned out, but then again, I’m not sure I was looking all that hard.
Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Kelly did. Big up to my girl! Woo!
Did anyone close to you die? No, but there’s still 14 days left in 2006 and Aunt Pearl is doing less and less well by the minute.
What countries did you visit? Only the ones portrayed on BBC America.
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? An acceptance letter from UC Berkeley.
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 27th, Depeche Mode concert, because it was just a great evening and it gave me a bit of escapism for a few hours. Plus I loved just being able to enjoy one of my favorite bands like the raving fan I pretend not to be.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving October.
What was your biggest failure? Not being able to juggle a bazillion things all at once without people getting angry with me. Seriously, does nobody give the benefit of the doubt anymore? Or maybe even ask a question or two before passing judgment and getting all bitchy? For fuck’s sake…
Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing I wasn’t already suffering from.
What was the best thing you bought? Tom Petty’s Highway Companion album. Seriously, it is a nice reminder of what good music sounds like.
Whose behavior merited celebration? Jenny, who kept her shit together while pounding her way through the last of her baccalaureate classes and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Wildlife and Fisheries Science (an emphasis of Biology) yesterday. Girl has my eternal respect (which she had already, but now she has like a second helping of it, which makes her a god on the Manda Chart of Eternal Respect).
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Several people, actually. Pretty much all folks who just made assumptions about me and my life without ever taking the time to ask questions or maybe give me the benefit of the doubt. No, they would just rather conjure up their own bullshit mindsets and leave me out in the cold. Thanks, dickheads. (Oh why am I bothering? None of them even read this site…)
Where did most of your money go? Paying off bills. My entire raise I got for the year went towards raising my credit score.
What made you really really really excited? Two things are in a tie: Seeing VAST in concert for the first time and seeing Jenny again after a whole year.
What song will forever remind you of 2006? “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley. Not because I really want it to remind me of anything, but because you couldn’t escape the damn thing no matter what you did. So I have this myriad of life impressions that are attached to that song and I’m pretty sure that nothing I do will ever be able to change that.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Happier I guess.
thinner or fatter? Same size, sadly enough.
richer or poorer? Richer in the sense that a lot of my debt has been eliminated over the course of the year, but I’m by no means wealthy. But I’m not poor…I do have a few dollars left over after each payday and that’s all I’m asking for.
What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing honest-to-god real letters to friends.
What do you wish you’d done less of? Being sad.
How will you be spending Christmas? With my folks and brothers, watching A Christmas Story (nottafinga!) and eating fondue in front of a roaring fire.
How will you be spending New Year’s? Hopefully at home. I hate going out on New Year’s Eve. It’s too humiliating to be the fat girl in the nightclub with all her skinny, hot friends. I can get drunk at home and listen to BT albums and feel much better about myself the next day.
Did you fall in love in 2006? Not really.
How many one-night stands? None, and I intend to make up for that when I stop being fat later this year. I’ve decided I want to be a whore. Woo!
What were your favorite TV programs? I’m going to mention only new ones, because you’ve all heard the Old Standards. So that would be Dexter, Ugly Betty, Big Love, and Men In Trees. Oh, and Hex.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No, although a few people have managed to disappoint me greatly and for that I’m finding myself in a serious state of dislike.
What was the best book you read? Sadly I spent most of the year doing rereading (e.g. just finished chugging through A Confederacy of Dunces for the tenth time) but I think When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin was the one that made me the happiest, so I will give it the blue ribbon.
What was your greatest musical discovery? Regina Spektor. I want her voice.
What did you want and get? Acknowledgement from people at work that I’m worth far more than how I’ve been treated for the past five years.
What did you want and not get? Self-acceptance and inner peace.
What was your favorite film of this year? This Is Spinal Tap at Retro Revival Night. Because sometimes you forget how truly funny it can be.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? My birthday fell on Easter this year, so we spent it with dad’s side of the family, who all remembered and brought me presents and a cake. I felt like such a douche because it was a holiday! Nobody should have been celebrating my birthday on a holiday! Oh, and I was 31. Thanks for reminding me.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? For once being completely happy with the festival.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Finally started to wear fat clothes that are flattering to fat people rather than being big circus tents with hideous patterns and strange chest-to-waistline ratios. And bought makeup from someplace other than the drug store, professionally chosen by a lovely gay man that my cousin had to force me to leave behind. Oh *sigh*.
What kept you sane? Not fucking sure. I’m shocked that I made it here.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Jared Leto. Hands down.
What political issue stirred you the most? Many stirred me, but I’m not about to bring it all down right here. I hate talking politics. I think my bumper sticker pretty much says it all.
Whom did you miss? Jenny & Jared. No doubt about it.
Who was the best new person(s) you met? I haven’t really met anyone new this year…I mean, not in person. And I don’t count school because they’re all Minute-Friends anyhow. But if I’m allowed to include online folks, I’d have to say Golfwidow, who rocks the casbah on a regular basis.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Don’t bother to ever attempt a rational, friendly, logical conversation with conservatives about things like the environment, atheism, or the Iraq war/conflict/police action/smokescreen. All you’ll get is a bunch of close-minded spew, wherein they smugly tell you how wrong you are and how you’re the one who’s uneducated and close-minded. Wow. Nice.
Favorite memory of 2006? Doing the Buffalo Bill dance with Jared. And riding the Skunk Train with Jenny.