I’ve been trying to ignore my calendar, but it seems that the rest of the world is intent on reminding me that my least favorite day of the entire year is ruining a perfectly good weekend.

You’ve heard me harp on this many many times in the past, so rather than write up yet another lengthy entry showing you what a bundle of crotchsnot I am, I’ve culled a couple of entries from my supersecret hidden mmdc archives (if you’re nice, I might actually link to the archives this week). This way I can get to the exciting shenanigans I have planned for this evening…writing a paper on woodland engineering and watching three consecutive episodes of Twin Peaks whilst eating the creme-filled cake-cookie sandwiches I baked this morning. Jealous, you are.

Happy Greedy Commercialism Mindfuck Day!
originally posted 2/15/05

Oh indeed my favorite day of the year!

I’m not sure I even need to launch into my anti-V Day diatribe this year. Y’all have heard it before. Although sometimes it begs repeating. Especially when I’ve spent the past six weeks being continually hounded by the sight of pink hearts and cupids. Doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, someone will be there to drive this shit into your skull like a railroad spike. A big glittery red one that plays “Love Me Tender” when you squeeze it.

God bless this capitalist society in which we exist. Can’t wait to see what holiday they choose to exploit next.

Mucho mejor, pero…¡ahora es día de los valentine!
originally posted 2/14/06

I supposed then that it makes sense, me feeling better today. Because it’s Valentine’s Day. My body refuses to take part in my annual V-Day miseryfest, so I’m on my own as far as working up the crankypants today.

Doesn’t take much though. I always know I can rely on morning radio to give me something to grouse about. I had to listen to some nonsense drivel about how people don’t want their S.O. to spend a lot of money for Valentine’s Day. Bull. Shit. Yeah, there are SOME people out there who think like that. But MOST people don’t. Most of them are all about the dollars. How much? How much did they spend on me today? How much did they give me today? Why only a dozen roses? Why not two dozen? Why only a pair of diamond earrings? Why not a matching pendant and ring? Why reservations at Applebee’s? Why not the Firehouse Restaurant? What, no rose petals on the bed? What, no candlelit bath?

Oh for fuck’s sake, people. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and I will most likely continue saying it until the day I die. Why do we need a holiday to prove our love to one another? Seriously, Valentine’s Day is ridiculous. If you’re not showing/telling the people you love how you feel at any other point in the year, you probably should lock yourself in a dungeon and wait for death to overtake you. You simply are not human.

It’s already started around here. People being beckoned to the security desk two buildings over to pick up their flowers. Women drowning in perfume and draped in every gaudy piece of red clothing they own, topped off with even gaudier matching jewelry. Bizarre pink-frosted cupcakes dotted with conversation hearts left on a platter in the break room (yeah, I’m so going to eat something from unknown origins). And talking stuffed animals that people CANNOT stop squeezing. I’m going to sneak around during lunch and remove all the little squawkboxes from these stupid toys, I swear to god.

This day couldn’t be over fast enough. It really couldn’t…

Remember the other day when I mentioned the nutjob who is (not-for-long) married to a friend of mine? The one who seems a bit unhinged and apparently reads my website and digs through my stuff?

Oh bless her heart, she’s posted a threat on my site. Apparently she thinks that simply having a blog and blogging about a completely unnamed person will get me fired from my job. Oh, and I’m apparently a psycho as well. Yeah. Because I’ve been the one stalking my soon-to-be ex and all his friends and trying to make trouble for them.

Empty threats, darling. Empty threats. Yes, you can probably call the cops or perhaps even give my former supervisor a ring and make up some outlandish story and they might actually take a few minutes to find out if what you’re saying is a lie or not. But that’s just the thing…what comes out of your mouth is a complete lie and you seem to think that everyone is too stupid to figure it out. Hun, here’s how it works. Threaten me all you want. I am doing nothing wrong. I’m not posting pictures of my place of employment, I’m not identifying my employer, I’m not giving out your name, I’m not giving out your location. My employer has much better things to do with their time and resources than fret over one of their employees having a personal blog on the internet. You can throw your empty threats at me all you want. Honestly, I want no part of your issues. I’ve stayed out of all of this because your personal life and my friend’s personal life are none of my business in any way. But you’ve managed to make it my business by using my words and my photos and my online life against other people, and that’s a problem. Trust me. I have bigger fish to fry and very little time to be dealing with you and your issues.

So do me a favor…do everyone involved a favor…just go away. Walk away and work on your own life instead of focusing on that of others. You’ve got a long nasty road ahead of you, and running around the internet making threats, calling peoples’ employers and trying to make trouble for them, fabricating stories to try and slander others (may I remind you that this is illegal? You didn’t know that? Oh. Well, now you do), and other things like that…it’s taking away time from the things you should be focusing on.

In the end, it’s your decision. You can stick around and continue to fight a losing battle with me. Unlike you, I do understand how the legal system works, I can afford a great lawyer, and I have no problem serving you legal papers to keep you in check. Forward my posts to my employer again in an attempt to get me fired, and I will have a restraining order and a lawsuit on you so fast, it will make your head spin.

Don’t look at this as a threat. Consider it a promise.