Memorial Day fun

I wasted my Monday off by trying to recover from Sunday. Between horseshoes and the mass quantities of beer and meat and fat and sugar I consumed throughout the day, I was a disaster yesterday. An absolute fucking disaster. When I went to do my 20-minute ride today on the recumbent bike, I could still smell the goddamned ketones. Ew.

Needless to say, the rest of the week will be spent detoxing the system. I was only half-joking a few weeks back when I said I was going to go back to being vegan. I don’t eat much meat to begin with and most of the stuff I buy is organic, all-natural, or raw (unprocessed). So it’s been an easy transition to reduce the amount of meat I eat even more and bring back the stuff I used to eat in its place, like seitan and tofu and soba noodles. And holy shit, the meat-like products out there nowadays are SO MUCH BETTER than they had back in the day. If they weren’t so expensive, I’d buy them all the time. As it is, I mostly just do without meat altogether and focus on stuff like legumes and pastas as my main courses. I’m not giving up dairy products. HELL NAW. And not giving up eggs (although I hardly eat them anyhow…they make me burp nasty). And of course I’m not giving up meat at all. I guess you could say I’m just kind of re-prioritizing my dietary habits.

So that is why I will stink of beef for the next few days. It’s gross and sad and I apologize in advance to anyone who has to sit near me. On the bright side, maybe my stench will encourage folks to back off the beef a little?

For my contribution to the smorgasbord on Sunday, I made a fine batch of homemade limoncello, which I eventually translated into limoncello cheesecake squares. Citrus just sounded so delightful for a warm holiday weekend. And I so desperately wanted to pay a buck a lemon. No, really, I did. Because…you know…everyone should pay ten bucks for lemons so they can peel them and then throw the rest away.

No, I didn’t actually throw the rest away. I juiced them and filled a water bottle with it for use later on. Maybe for fajita chicken (although that’s usually lime…but whatever! Work with me here!).

That’s not the point. My point is, I bought ten lemons to make limoncello with, and in theory (and according to the recipe), you’re just supposed to slice off the very top layer of peel and then discard the rest. How fucking sad is that? What, you don’t think that children starving in Ethiopia wouldn’t be ecstatic to have peeled lemons to eat?

OK, I’m being stupid now. Sorry. On with my story.

Limoncello is this delightful lemon liqueur from Italy that borders on syrupy…but if you serve it chilled, it’s incredible on a warm sunny day. After making the cheesecake squares, I had about six cups of the stuff left, so I brought it along with me and stuck it in one of the ice chests. Mom, for some unknown reason, was stoked by this fact and kept offering the limoncello as a beverage option whenever anyone arrived. Unfortunately, the word “limoncello” was extremely confusing to her somehow, and I heard her offer one group of folks “beer, wine, or citronella?” Because, you know, just in case the mosquitos show up later and you’d like to fight them from the inside out.

I only had two small aperitif glasses of the sweet yellow ambrosia myself, but several people quaffed it like it was spring water. My dad took a particular shine to it after the day’s festivities were done. Washing up the dishes that night, he asked me to pour him a little bit so he could taste it for himself. He then proceeded to down about five glasses of it. At nine o’clock at night. Granted, he had Monday off…but dude. He was washing dishes and intended to check e-mail before going to bed. What the hell was he going to do with a killer buzz?

I ended up bringing home a small quantity of limoncello. I don’t know when I’ll have time to drink it. Maybe I’ll down the entire batch in the parking lot of the high school just before I head inside for Grad Nite? Certainly would make things less painful.

I’m wondering if there will end up being some sort of bitchy catfight between Katy and Morgan. On one hand, I really hope not. However…it would definitely be all kinds of entertaining. And it might actually ease some of the familial tension we’re constantly feeling from having to walk on eggshells around current and ex-girlfriends.

Speaking of which…I have to figure out what to get each of them for graduation. Any suggestions? I mean, aside from money…that’s a given. Katy likes yellow. Morgan likes purple. Morgan is a dancer. Katy plays volleyball. That’s about it. I’m dry from there on out.

Help?