Did I miss the memo that said November would be the Month of Wacky Shit Products? Cheez-It in a can? Kill me now.
Saw the commercial for this product about an hour ago while watching last week’s ep of My Name Is Earl that I discovered on my TiVo, buried beneath about twenty hours of Halloween programming gone overboard. How fitting to advertise spray cheese during a redneck show. I’m sure it’s no coincidence.
Reading the specs on the page is really the highlight here. I’m especially enamored with the section entitled “Warming Instructions.” First off, I’m kind of confused because I wasn’t aware that merely dispensing the product would indeed heat it up. In fact, I didn’t know that it was a heated product to begin with. I must have missed that part of the commercial while I was gagging and pounding my fists on the desk.
It’s sad, really, that someone has to be told how to use a can of spray cheese. Although when you think about it, the kind of person who would eat this (and probably count it as a serving of dairy to boot) is most likely the same kind of person who would have no clue how to dispense their tangy liquid gold. Color me surprised that there isn’t some sort of safety on the can to prevent users from putting an eye out while snacking.
And pray tell what type of crackers one would serve Cheez-It spray cheese on? Oh please don’t say Cheez-Its. PLEASE don’t say that. Because that? That’s nasty. Cheese on Cheez is just wrong. There’s codes of conduct violated just by even thinking such things.
OK, so far we’ve had self-heating canned coffee and now spray Cheez-It cheese. Oh I can’t wait to see what else is coming down the pipeline…
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