Babywatch 2006

My job tonight is to stay up as long as possible in anticipation of the wonderful phone call I’ll receive from Jordan letting me know that their son Caleb is FINALLY walking amongst us (figuratively speaking, of course). Big J has been keeping us updated on Kelly’s progress throughout the day via laptop and she’s at almost 10cm right now. And I’m leaving for school in twenty minutes. Ack! I plan on informing Professor Soria that if the call comes in the middle of class, I’m so outtie.

But of course we all know that 10cm is merely the pushing point. Doesn’t guarantee a swift labor. I do hope, however, that it actually is a quickie. If bearing down is anything like trying to move your bowels after a three-day rectum strike, I can imagine how tiring it can get. There’s a reason why they always show birth mothers saying “I can’t push anymore…I don’t want to push anymore…” ‘Cause dude…it’s like sisyphus and the boulder for most of it.

On the upside, Kelly has been able to get quite a bit of rest today, between being doped up and having an epidural (the greatest invention EVAH). So maybe that will help to give her the strength. Not that she’s not already a strong-assed woman. I’m pretty sure she could take me down in a Jell-O wrestling match with just her “You so didn’t just say that” stare.

…pondering changing out “Jell-O wrestling” for something a little less innocuous to avoid the five gazillion page hits I will now get from all those Eurasian perverts who seem to find their way here simply because I used “midget”, “daughter”, and “handjob” somewhere in my blog over the last three years.

But hey. I like to keep things interesting.