Because redneck is beautiful

Spending yet another Thanksgiving holiday at Clear Lake was bound to deliver. I mean, really, this place never disappoints no matter how hard it tries with the excessive lava rock-and-garden-gnome yard displays.

Poking around at KMart today (something we do not because we hope to catch a blue light special but because we always seem to forget something essential, like belts or shoes or underwear) we ran across the most appalling and yet totally fascinating thing we’d ever seen. And I don’t know why it surprised us because it’s not like we were in Nordie’s. No, KMart is precisely the place where one should expect to run across what can only be described as the most obscene abuse of one’s hair in the History of Ever.

I wish Kevin weren’t napping right now because if he were awake, I’d have him e-mail me the picture he took with his cell phone, the picture he snapped of the female KMart employee sporting the world’s largest mullet. It was truly incredible. It was out of control. It had its own zip code.

And no matter what we did to escape it, the mullet followed and stalked and shouted at us with large angry fists waving in the air. We had to physically restrain Cutter at one point as he thought the woman’s head was being eaten by a rabid beaver and wanted to help.

I seriously hope I never run into that lady again. I’m not even sure what I’d do with myself. Probably wet myself and start crying.

And don’t get me started on her moustache. No, really. Please don’t.