All kinds of behind

All kinds of behind

Oh I had all kinds of plans this weekend for getting crazy shit accomplished. Shit I had run out of time to do earlier. Shit that is SUPER important to me.

Did it happen?

Of course not. Because when Manda says “I’m ready!”, Life says “HA!” and opens up the Great Floodgates of Bullshit.

My plan was this: get up at 5:30am yesterday morning and hit five stores plus the lube-n-tune joint and be home by 9:30am at the latest, wherein I would finish up my pumpkin butter, my chocolate caramel fudge sauce, my iced sugar cookies (I even whipped up a batch of royal icing the night before just to test the humidity for the next day’s baking events!), and my fudge. AND I would then have time to head over to Dixon for dinner with the Holtmeyer family.

Har.

At approximately 3:30 yesterday morning, I was awoken by Jamie calling me from the doorway of my bedroom. It seems he had a toothache that was so bad, he not only couldn’t sleep but he then had to wake me up and share the misery with me. He couldn’t find his dental insurance card, didn’t know what to do, so being the GOOD FRIEND I am, I climbed out of bed and spent the next two-and-a-half hours helping him find someplace to go for relief. Normally I’d just send him off to the emergency room, but he has Kaiser and Kaiser sucks dogshit-covered gangrene-infested pus-ridden horse balls. How they’ve managed to keep going after all these years is beyond me. I guess all those malpractice suits really don’t hurt someone’s image after all.

Kaiser doesn’t really HAVE an emergency hospital in this area. And when he called the advice nurse, she told him he’d have to just make an appointment. So at 6:15am he finally got through and made a 9am appointment at the Vallejo Kaiser complex. I had to go with, in case they doped him up and he couldn’t drive. At this point he’s in excruciating pain to the point that he’s almost crying. I figured it was an abscessed tooth but also suggested it was a sinus infection.

I knew it wasn’t good when he was only with the doctor for ten minutes. And half that time was spent waiting around in the room. The doctor poked at his gums, said “Yup, it’s an abscessed tooth. Your gums look red right there” and sent him packing with a prescription for pain meds and penicillin.

We get home and I’m too tired to go out and do my shopping because now the stores will be crowded and I don’t have the patience for stupidity. Jamie takes his pain meds and after an hour and a half, they’re still not working. I go online to read up on them and see if he can take a higher dosage. Turns out the medication was merely a slightly stronger version of Aleve. Great. I’d been hoping for a vicodin or codeine sort of pain med. Instead, the doctor considered Jamie just like every other junkie in Vallejo and blew sunshine up his ass.

Today the pain has spread all up the right side of his face and is also on the left side. I have a feeling it’s a fucking sinus infection, in which case Kaiser should be SUPER ashamed of themselves. Why the doctor didn’t bother to do anything other than poke at Jamie’s gums with a tongue depressor is beyond me. Ugh. Fucking Kaiser.

Today the folks and I went down to El Cerrito to visit Huny & Poppa. We partook of ridiculously tasty Chinese food and talked about all kinds of random stuff. I like chatting with my grandparents. They have funny notions of things and occasionally they surprise me. Hearing Huny complain about how during her recent hospital visit, her roommate was screwing her boyfriend in the next bed and then…and I quote…”dripping cum all over the floor as she walked to the bathroom”…I almost fucking died. I want to be that damn cool when I’m in my 80′s.

So. Um. Yeah, no baking has taken place yet. I don’t know when I’ll have time. All of the shopping I was supposed to do yesterday morning will now need to be done tomorrow morning. Maybe I’ll be able to get out the shoehorn and a jar of Vaseline and cram it into my schedule tomorrow. If not, I’ll be making Christmas treats post-Christmas. How ridiculously lame…