I wish I could say I was a good friend back in high school. I’d love to be able to say that. Unfortunately I wasn’t. I was a shit friend to almost everyone except Debbie, and even that might be debatable.
Towards the end of our senior year, my friend Nic had begun dating a guy we’ll call CW. We’d known him for a long while, and he was a couple of years younger than us. Him and his best friends had a band together, and so we’d all hang out at CW’s house a lot. They were really funny, lovely guys. The kind of guys you like to have a small crush on not because you want to hump them but because they are just that funny and sweet and great to chill with.
Sometime around graduation, Nic attended a big end-of-school-year party and hooked up with some guy whom I’m positive I knew but I’ve drawn a blank on his name and face for the last ten years. Anyway, they didn’t go all full-bone, but there was kissing and heavy petting that took place. Nic confided this in me and swore me to secrecy because she didn’t want CW to find out. I promised her that my lips were sealed.
Apparently they weren’t THAT sealed. A couple of days later, I was hanging out with CW and the guys, with Nic nowhere to be seen. She’d started to spend less and less time hanging with our group and it was becoming glaringly obvious to everyone that she wasn’t as interested in CW as she’d once been. So we’re sitting there having a heart-to-heart about all this and CW says “Sometimes I wonder if maybe she’s cheating on me. I think she is. I really do. Amanda? Do you know anything?” and all eyes are on me.
Now I’m a shitty liar. I shouldn’t play poker, that’s how bad I am at trying to deceive someone. Especially when it comes to something so blatantly wrong. And Nic’s secret was written all over my damn face. After a few minutes of verbal prodding by the group, I finally spilled every last bean. On one hand I felt incredibly guilty. (though to be honest, it was a long-overdue karmic payback for the slam book incident from three years prior) But on the other hand, I felt so relieved that I’d gotten it off my chest.
While at work the next day, I had a little visitor. Nic slammed the front door of Dandi Dogs open wide and said “WE NEED TO TALK. NOW.” I wasn’t stupid. I knew what was going on. So I followed her out front, where she rounded on me, hands balled into fists. I was prepared for a fight but it never materialized. “Oh my god, I’m SO pissed. You don’t know how pissed I am. PLEASE tell me you did NOT betray me. You did NOT tell CW I cheated on him. Because he knows. And he dumped me.” Oops.
Instead of being honorable and saying what I felt, which was somewhere along the lines of “Don’t put your shit on me because you were lame enough to cheat on a really nice guy who loves you to pieces”, I turned into a giant pile of chicken shit and lied through my teeth. I denied everything. I was the uncontested champion of denial. I denied things I hadn’t even been accused of. It was bad.
Nic still blamed me (wise I suppose) and didn’t speak to me for the next four months. In fact, every time I drove by her new boyfriend’s house, which was right on one of the main streets of Dixon, I’d elicit shouts of verbal abuse from her and her friends. Hey, just because you graduate high school doesn’t mean you earned any maturity with that diploma.
After four months, she decided that it hadn’t been my fault after all and she forgave me, and we became good friends again, though over time we drifted a bit.
I still haven’t told her the truth to this day. I don’t plan on ever telling her. I’m not sure it’s even worth it anymore.
Musical Dischord
There are just two black spots on what I would call an otherwise flawless musical history for my high school career. I cannot in any way apologize enough for their presence. They’re inexcusable.
The first was the song “Because I Love You” by Stevie B. This became “our song” for me and my boyfriend Jason my sophomore year of high school. We had been dating for four months at that point and I thought he was just the love of my life, as high school girls are wont to do. That song is cheese supreme. I haven’t heard it in a good ten plus years, and I think if I were to suddenly hear it again, I would bash the radio, stereo, or computer to bits. Tiny bits. Tiny irreparable bits. This song is so ridiculously bad, I don’t think Stevie B will even admit to singing it anymore. In fact, he’s probably going by his full name because he doesn’t want people to know it’s HIM. (I estimate I listened to this song around 100-200 times that school year; I had the cassette single)
The second song…*SIGH*…is the tune “Masterpiece” by Atlantic Starr. I couldn’t even tell you why. I really couldn’t. No, honestly. I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE. And yet there it is. I owned the cassette single of that as well. I think I was still pining over Jason at the time and I just latched onto that as the magic of Stevie B wore very very thin. I’d like to say that there were much worse alternatives I could have reached for, but even through the medium of internet blogging I can’t keep a straight face.
I’m not linking you to either one of these songs because I won’t be party to your masochistic needs. If you need to know what they sound like, google ’em up. And then prepare a large glass of tequila to wash away the scarring.
There Was Poison, Venomous Poison
The song I favorited the most/longest during high school? “Poison” by Alice Cooper. I clung to that song as my favorite from the time it hit the airwaves in September ’89 until sometime near the end of the school year, May ’90. To this day my old friends will experience uncontrollable twitching if they hear that song. Bless their hearts for being so supportive for so long…hey folks, ten rounds of pints on me.
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