Spring has sprung

I don’t even know what to do with all my free time at the moment. Two of my four classes haven’t posted to the Blackboard yet, so I’m not even going to bother trying to get a jump on that shit. Though I do have to admit, I read my entire geology text from cover to cover the other day. Very little of it was anything I didn’t already know, but it’s still fun. Hey, some people read Stephen King or Danielle Steele, I read geology texts. Wanna take bets on whose brain is rotting far less as a result?

The weather this week has been off the chain. Warm sunny afternoons every day, nice cool breezes at night, just as was promised. Which is very groovy because it has allowed me to air out the four months of wintertime man-funk that has managed to accumulate in the carpets, the drapes, the furniture, and anything else semi-permeable under this roof (though it is taking longer than I anticipated). All I can say is, men have no concept of “Look, this place smells like dirty feet and that’s unacceptable”.  They’re perfectly content to sit in their own stinky worlds and never let a shred of daylight or clean air pass through their dwellings. You can’t imagine what it’s like to come home every day wanting to be grateful that you’re on your own front porch and soon you’ll be on your own bed having your own post-work coma-nap, and instead being bashed in the face with the thick disappointment of stale air the instant you open the door.

Dudes. Take note. This is not the way to get laid.

Not that I would actually hook up with my roommates. My nether region is a no-fly zone until further notice.

I’m dying to get out into my yard and my garden now that the sun hath shined its glory upon my greenery and buds are appearing on everything. The only problem is that the criminally insane rainy season we’ve had left me with no ability to maintain my yard for several months in a row, and now my shit is overgrown like a mofo. (we’re still talking about the yard and garden people. EYES UP HERE, PLZ) So before I can do the nice, light, fun springtime gardening, I will have to do the evil, angry, dirty post-apocalyptic cleanup first. Grrrr. On the plus side: plenty of fodder for the compost heap and a good workout for my winter-atrophied muscles. On the downside: I’m not ready to be warm-weather sweaty again yet.

I desperately need to clean my garage as well, since the winter doldrums has left five cubic fucktons of empty cardboard boxes (the largest being from three different LCD TV’s; no I don’t know whose bright idea that was), cases of wine, tangled cables of varying lengths, old computer hardware, and oh yeah, self-loathing. Unfortunately I still lack the drive that was not present all winter to get a vehicle to take all this shit to the dumps with. So here I am…neck-deep in junk. I’ve taken to unloading my groceries through the side gate rather than through the garage these days, as I don’t need the neighbors to think I’m any bigger of a freak than they already suspect I am.

I’ve actually entertained the thought of having a garage sale. I KNOW. Why I would put myself through that all over again is beyond me. Last year’s spring sale was enough of a reminder of how great donation vans and Craigslist can really be for your sanity and your mood. When you don’t have to look a stranger square in the face while they’re dissing your tastes in music, literature, and Lane Bryant easy-stretch tops, life is really kind of peachy.