The Close of a Long-Lost Summer

Goodbye, Summer of 2010. We hardly knew ye.

Oh alright, I know it’s not technically the end of summer. But I’m willing to let it slide a few days early. Because this summer has been the Summer of Everloving Hell and I’d just as soon forget it ever happened. There’s a reason I did very little blogging the last three months. It’s because I was slowly losing my goddamned mind. I blame the festival, my employer, and a tiny little pill I like to call That Bitch Levora.

At this point, I’m so ready to close this chapter out and start a new one. As soon as possible, really. I’m anxious to start my new job, I’m nervous to see what Life After School really feels like, and I’m ready to push forward into taking whatever next steps may come for me and The Boyfriend. And god help me, I’m still co-organizing the festival, so there’s that to focus on as well. But instead of this feeling of overwhelming dread, I’m actually excited and looking forward to being able to breathe. I loved school but oh! It was incredibly constricting. I feel guilty for even thinking that, but it’s the truth. Even as much as I want to be in class RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, I am so thankful that I’m done for now.

Oddly enough though, I’m dying for something to do. Because gainful employment isn’t time-consuming enough, right? I’m not sure what it is, what goes on inside my brain that always makes me itch for things to occupy my time. It can’t be that I somehow detest idleness. I’m perfectly content sometimes to just curl up on the sofa and do nothing except stare out the window and let my mind wander (or even go blank if I’m lucky). Nevertheless, this happens to me whenever there is a large gap between sleep and work, and I find that I get restless for activity. That’s often how I find new hobbies or craft projects. Uh oh, looks like everyone’s receiving handmade gifts this holiday season!

At some point in the next couple of weeks, I’m hoping to draw up a list of things that sound interesting. Perhaps I can find something simple and yet filling enough to satisfy this weird craving to do something. Maybe I should let you, the readers, pick for me? That might be kinda cool. Though I will have to cut off any write-in voting. I don’t need to take up pole dancing or upside-down chin-art.