This State Will Kill Us Yet

Oregon has it out for us. I swear to you, it does.

So this happened right in front of us today. We’re driving north on I-5, minding our own business, all fat from our A&W lunch. Not a care in the world. When BAM! This vehicle flips over the center divide into our lane. Right in front of us. And because we were on a steep incline and I was feeling particularly lazy, we weren’t going very fast and I was able to slow down and swerve over to the right lane (and then shoulder) to avoid the second vehicle (pictured below) that came busting over the center divide behind the first vehicle. It happened fast enough that I didn’t even get a good visual assessment of it at first and for a moment I thought the first vehicle had been on our side of the highway. Glass and parts were everywhere. People scrambling to help others out of vehicles. The SUV in the picture was filled with children and one very shaken father. It was something else.

Nobody in Oregon can drive. I swear to god.

 We debated for all of about 30 seconds as to whether or not we wanted to be good samaritans before deciding to resume our course. There was little we could do that anyone else on the scene wasn’t already doing. At least, that’s what we told ourselves. Besides, I was working on a schedule. I wanted to be in Cascade Locks before all the good eateries closed!

Little did we know that this wasn’t the first accident we’d see that day. Actually it was the second accident we saw. The first was just at the bottom of that same hill, and is what caused the stopped traffic situation that led to the one we actually witnessed in progress. Further up the highway, we encountered no less than 5 additional accidents, two of them involving overturned vehicles. By the time we reached the last one on our route somewhere north of Salem, I informed the boys that I wanted off the fucking highway before something wicked this way comes. There is nothing safe about Oregon drivers. Too much meth maybe?

Despite all of that, we managed to get to Cascade Locks at a record hour, and instead of me having to dive right into homework or sit around sending work e-mails so I could retain my job, we dropped the luggage in our room and actually got to head out on the town for some local grub. Our eatery of choice, which I’d read about on the internet many times, was the Pacific Crest Pub. I had scoped out the beer cheese soup on their menu (made with one of my favorites, Rogue’s Dead Guy Ale) and was hot for a bowl of it. Because honestly, how can you hate on beer cheese soup? And it was divine. Between that, the huge salad I got with my soup, and the massive order of chili cheese fries we split as an “appetizer”, I was pretty much set for the rest of whatever. I was definitely gunning for a food coma. Karlos crammed himself into the corner of our little booth when he realized that there was a group of New Zealanders at the bar, charming the pants off of all the other patrons. I think Karlos was afraid they’d want to become bestest friends for life. He’s so warm and cuddly.

Tomorrow marks our arrival in North Bend after a long trek through the Yakima Valley. I’m sort of looking forward to the drive since I find it super appealing. Karlos and The Boyfriend may not be quite so enamored. I’m probably one of the only souls who thinks scrub and farmland is pretty. Well, at least for tonight we get to enjoy sunset over the Columbia. And True Blood. We have our priorities.