I’m exhausted from living up to your expectations…

Look.

I never said I was perfect. I never said I was rational. I never said I wasn’t ever at any point in time angry.

So why am I being persecuted for something I said THREE MONTHS AGO in a fit of anger? I don’t get it. No, really. I don’t. I’m so lost, it’s not even funny. The last time someone held something I said in the past against me was in high school. I checked the calendar this morning and it’s still 2004, so I’m definitely not back in high school again. So. What gives?

I’m so tired of apologizing. I can’t get any more sorry. I felt so bad when I found out that the entry had been discovered long after I forgot about its existence, I immediately went in and deleted the entry. I’ve apologized for it and I’ve apologized in the past for rotten things I’ve said in the heat of argument. I don’t know what else I can even do. Neither of us are perfect, angelic human beings. So why am I not allowed to be angry over the post that spurned my furious blog rant back in August?

Over the past two days, I’ve gone from feeling sick to my stomach, to being defensive and angry, to being at an absolute loss for words. How does one really defend themselves for saying something three months ago? What has changed things? Both of us said truly awful things about one another, and yet only one has a right to continue to be angry about it? It makes no sense to me.

So all I can say now is…I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m spent. To alleviate the situation, I’m giving up. It’s clear that I’ve crossed a line that can never be crossed back over again, and I’m just wasting everyone’s time by carrying on about it. So sorry about that, folks…