This had better be a motherfucking joke

This had better be the BEST April Fool’s joke EVAH. And I mean EVAH.

Because if it’s not, shit is going to get ugly in Sac Town…

And I have a horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s not a joke. Not by any means.

I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. KWOD is one of the most popular radio stations in Sacramento…hands down. No doubt about it. Their DJs have always been listener favorites, their music has gone through a few odd transitions (that awkward Papa Roach period damn near killed us all!) but has been top notch for the most part, they’ve brought us many many great concerts…

So how does a company look at all that and go “That’s fantastic. Great, thank you for your time. We’re changing formats! And firing everyone! Because that’s what the listeners want!”

Can you see why I don’t get it? ‘Cause I truly, honestly, fully DO NOT GET IT. These asswhoring cocksuckers have just ruined a well-loved radio station. They’ve ruined MY well-loved radio station. I really hope their dicks turn black, shrivel up like severed umbilical cords, drop off, and fall down a storm drain.

KWOD has been my god since I was a freshman in high school. That’s sixteen years, people. Sixteen fucking years. They took me by the hand and led me through The Cure, Faith No More, Portishead, Kate Bush, Nirvana…they helped me to understand and accept the influx of “new rock alternative” like Linkin Park and Korn. They even got me to appreciate the fine inner workings of storyoftheyear, The Used, My Chemical Romance…

And now they’re gone. They’re fucking gone and there’s nothing I can do about it except sit here in total impotent rage, my face getting hot from the anger, my eyes tearing up from the sadness. This is truly the shittiest thing in my little universe right now. You could fistfuck me in the ass and I wouldn’t even take offense. I’m that distraught.

I hope the new program director and the shitfaces he works for are listening and listening good. Your sorryass shithole station will fail miserably and I will laugh myself into a coma because you deserve every dime you lose, you pathetic cocksucking pus-licking whore-raping motherfuckers.

I’m going to miss my favorite DJ’s…Boomer, Nick Monroe, Violet, Kevin Seconds…I hope they’re able to find their place somewhere in another Sacramento radio station. Considering I spent over nine years on Nick Monroe alone, he really had better find a spot right where he is. I can’t go through total withdrawals like this.

It is a sad, rainy day in Sac Town indeed. Pull the flags down to half-mast, kiddies, the Valley has suffered a great loss.

KWOD, we will miss you and remember you fondly.