The pipes are clean

I’m a huge fan of Dr. Pepper. Sickeningly huge. To the point where I would gladly give up water to have Dr. Pepper for all eternity.

So suffice it to say, my svelte figure has suffered as a result. You figure the average 8oz. can of soda has 120 calories in it. I had been known to polish off 20-40 ounces in one day. Do the math and wag your finger.

A couple of months back, I decided to try and sate my Pepper desire by switching to something still carbonated and yet a lot less caloric and sweet.

Enter sparkling mineral water.

I’m sure there’s something completely unhealthy about the fact that I drink a solid 40-plus ounces of this stuff a day now. But I really don’t care. It’s tasty, it’s bubbly, it has zero calories, and the most amazing diuretic side-effect. Even though it only has 35mg of sodium, this stuff makes me piss like a racehorse. All. Day. Long. My coworkers are starting to worry.

On the plus side, my kidneys are having a bang-up time cranking out the juice. My bladder and all accompanying pipes are probably clean as a whistle right now. The downside is that my netherbits are getting tired of being wiped. Oh were I a man, I’d be having good times, shaking my puppy off and going on about my day.

I guess I should inquire as to any adverse effects of mass mineral water consumption.

Yeah…I’ll Google that another day.

Right now I’m particularly fond of Crystal Geyser’s Very Berry variety, although I will buy all five varieties really. They’re all gravy in my book.

I’m having a hard time picking up energy now that fair is over. All the sleep I lost last week and the extra physical activities are just catching up to me with a quickness. This weekend is going to arrive and I’ll be absolutely dead to the world. Don’t wake me until at least 3pm on Saturday…

I have no boss here this week. Everyone’s at our big bi-annual convention in Nashville, rubbing elbows with the elitest of the elite…Therefore I feel like doing absolute jack diddely squat. Tomorrow should be scintillating, as I will be the only person here. Hallelujah!