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Posts Tagged ‘Music’

Usually that first day back from vacation sucks balls so hard, you can almost hear the fleshy popping sound over the whirring of your own overwhelmed mind. The coffee tastes worse than you remember, your inbox is overflowing with e-mails that should’ve gone to your backup while you were out, everyone and their grandmother feels the need to stop by and drill you about your vacation whereabouts, and of course there are at least three or four last-minute meetings that seem to have landed on your calendar without your knowledge. It’s no surprise that there are people who leave for vacation and never return.

Today has not been one of those days for me. I KNOW, I’m surprised too. The first pot of coffee this morning was delightful (I drank it in less than five minutes and immediately refilled). The majority of the e-mails in my inbox had either been handled by my backup or were simply system messages that could be deleted en masse. Exactly one person stopped by to chat today, and he’s one of the only people I tolerate post-vacation visits from. Oh, and no meetings. In fact, two meetings I DID have scheduled this week ended up being canceled. Can we say MASSIVE WIN?

On top of all that, my new monitor stands arrived while I was gone and were waiting on one of my guest chairs for me. Shortly after I’d finished putting them in place, our Building Services guys showed up to install the new keyboard/mouse tray I’d requested before I left two weeks ago. They took a scant five minutes to get this baby screwed into place; I shifted my monitors, computer, and other peripherals into their new positions, and voilá! New desk setup!

While I was out last week, my official anniversary date passed, and my inbox was crowded with congrats and well-wishes from all sorts of former coworkers. I replied to each and every one with a thank-you, and even got some immediate responses reminiscing about past antics with the company. I had two extremely pleasant IM chats with two coworkers this morning helping them get through some confusing processes in our accounting system, interspersed with conversations about our cats and hairstyles and morning coffee consumption habits.

Honestly, if every first-Monday-back-at-work could be like this, I would ease off my vacations a lot more happily than I currently do. Either I’m lucky with my timing this year, or perhaps it’s the position that has afforded me the luxury of Monday Morning Leisure (last year I was still doing so much work from my old job that it was like I’d never left). Regardless, I’m stoked. And relaxed. And already planning on doing a score of housework when I get home tonight, followed by a fantastic dinner of grilled chicken breast and some of the pattypan squashes I have left from last week’s farmer’s market. It’s a good day indeed.

New Hair?

I need a haircut pretty badly. For some reason my hair took a beating the last five or so months, and I have split ends coming out of my ass. Well, not really, because that would just be super weird. But you catch my drift. I hope.

Not to mention that growing my bangs out seems like a stupid idea at the moment. I haven’t cut them in about four months and they’ve just got mildly retarded on me. The right side creates this sort of “mushroom” hump and the left side, while completely able to be tucked behind my ear at this point, likes to flap around on me, the entire hank of hair flailing in the breeze like a giant turkey wing.

I feel far more ridiculous than I look. Doesn’t help that my hair is naturally wavy/curly, and my bangs are at a mid-curl length, and instead of looking wavy and cute, they look stupid and stick out from my head at all kinds of weird angles that harken back to 70′s feathered hair days.

It’s time for this shit to go, yo.

I don’t want to get crazy short. Anything above my shoulders is just wrong. My head is too large for that nonsense right now. But it’s clear that about three to four inches need to get right the fuck outta town. That and I need some texture. Even with as post-summer-shed thin as my rug is at the moment, it’s just got to be done. And so I’m thinking of braving the wilds of Supercuts or perhaps Great Clips this coming Friday. Those of you who recall my dyke hair fiasco in 2001 will understand my trepidation. I’ve had several successful trims at the hands of Great Clips since then, so I’m not too concerned. BUT. I’m a bit shaky nonetheless.

Why the hurry? Well, in a moment of stupidity and dare I say some pre-vacation happiness…I…*sigh*…I agreed to go to that ridiculous “high school reunion” party taking place this coming weekend. And I’ve decided, after a bit of contemplation, that I’d like to not look like a raggamuffin when I go.

The only concern is that by cutting my hair so close to the party, I risk having to show up with Idiot Hair if anything goes awry. But honestly, how could anything go THAT badly? It would take the stylist shaving half of my head and dying the other half pink for me to be in such dire straits that I refuse to go out in public.

I guess I shouldn’t jinx myself while I have the chance at a clean getaway, eh?

If you’re curious, I’m looking at getting my hair cut and styled similar to Nina Diaz’s current hairstyle. See the below video for reference…

The e-mail came through just after I got up from an unexpected (but not entirely unwelcome) post-dinner nap. In a way, I can’t say I was entirely surprised by its arrival. I am, after all, the poster child for Murphy’s Law. Still, it was a slap in the face that I didn’t need.

The one thing I’d looked forward to more than anything else this year…literally the only thing I’ve looked forward to this year…was yanked right out from underneath me. Months of excitement over the best seats I’ve ever had at Shoreline, the VIP parking I was able to score, the new album that I adore, the iTunes pass and collector’s edition box set of said new album that I splurged on, the extensive work I did as part of the street team…all for naught. Depeche Mode canceled tonight’s concert and will not be rescheduling it.

I wasn’t even two sentences into reading the e-mail bulletin (from LiveNation, no less; the band’s own e-mail didn’t come out for another half hour) when I burst into uncontrollable tears. I don’t know that words can adequately express the way I felt at that moment, or for the rest of the evening for that matter. I was angry, I was devastated, I was wrought and eventually I was just empty. I posted my disgust on Twitter, Facebook, FriendFeed, defending my feelings against mouthy assholes who would rather speak before attempting to understand a situation – all through thick tears and heavy heart. Taped to the front of my desk hutch – directly in my line of sight – hung an envelope containing the tickets and VIP parking pass mocked me with the Sounds of the Universe sticker I’d affixed to it back in April. Useless slips of paper to tuck away with my useless Fleetwood Mac tickets to serve as a future reminder of Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.

Today I’m just kind of numb and sad. I managed to cheer up a little talking to a few friends at work, but when the people go away, so does the cheer. I left my iPod at home because I cannot listen to any of their songs right now. I tried last night in a moment of ill-conceived clarity when putting together a playlist based on the tour setlist and launching it at 8:30 so I could have my own concert anyway, and all it did was upset me all over again. I’m having to avoid going online now because friends and acquaintances keep making statements about the band that just remind me of exactly what I’m trying to forget. And I’m sorry, I don’t expect people to extend sympathies or even pretend they care…but telling me “Oh that’s so sad! I wish you could’ve gone with me to the Seattle show because it was FUCKING INCREDIBLE” is really not helpful by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, it’s a pretty shitty thing to say and I’m wondering if it was said partially out of spite.

I know many people are confused and a bit unnerved by my reaction to the concert being canceled. It does seem a bit extreme…over the top and all that. But this has been a Not Very Good year for me. And the one thing that got me through all of that shit…the one fixed point in my year that kept me focused on moving onward…that was tonight’s Depeche Mode concert. When I bought the tickets back at the beginning of March, it was this ray of happiness that sustained me. I looked forward to it because I love the band and I love their concerts and for fuck’s sake, all I wanted to do was have fun and smile and be happy. And I got through everything…I came out on the other side of a hellish stretch of time with my sanity intact, ready to reap my reward.

So, yeah. Having that rug so unceremoniously yanked out from underneath me? It felt like a kick in the teeth. A definite blow that knocked the fucking wind out of me. I know I still have a job and a roof over my head and that matters more than most things in this current climate. But that doesn’t meant that the way I feel is any less valid. Ever since I got back from the festival, I’ve felt great. These past two weeks, I’ve had a spring in my step and I’ve felt like I could take on the world. This morning I feel sad and tired again. It’s jarring.

So I’m sorry if my apparent pity parade has disrupted your feed. I’m sorry if you can’t understand how I feel. I’m sorry that I’m just another fucking weirdo on the internet ripe for the mocking. My year has been one big cosmic joke and I’m still waiting for that damn punchline. I’m sure it won’t ruin your week to afford me just a little room for my tantrum. I’ll be done before you know it. Promise.