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By Eoin Colfer

Conor Broekhart was once born to fly.

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He retched and arrked like a seal, flapping his arms at the princess. She ignored him, deciding instead to lie down on the parapet and wait for her father. Conor fumbled with his belt buckle, pulling the leather strip out from the loops of his trousers’ waistband. Then he rolled on to his back, and passed the belt behind the flag’s bamboo diagonals. This is an insane plan. You are not a pirate on some fantastic adventure. This wasn’t a plan, there was no time for plans. This was a desperate act.

That’s it now,’ said Vigny. ‘The old Nick. ’ The king came down slowly, his journey interrupted by several explosions. Once his feet had found purchase on the top rung, Nicholas descended quickly. There were other lives at stake here after all, and if he got Victor killed because of his own monumental carelessness, the Frenchman would plague him from the afterlife. Victor had him by the elbows before his boots touched the cobbles, whisking the king away to the relative safety of the keep. They watched from behind an open gorge tower as the king’s ladder was seared and blackened.

Squeezed from a dragon’s bum. ’ This sounded very possible, and Isabella wasn’t sure whether to believe it or not. On the chaise longue were buckets of fertilizer, a couple gently steaming. ‘Also from a dragon’s bum,’ intoned Conor wisely. Isabella tried to keep her scream behind her lips, so it shot out of her nose instead. ‘It’s fert’ lizer,’ said Conor, taking pity on her. ’ Isabella scowled at him. ‘You’re being hanged at sundown. ’ The apartment was a land of twinklings and shinings for a couple of unsupervised children.

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